Every time I go to a children’s ministry conference, there are always people who want to tell about the new family ministry at their church. Because I’m supportive and I genuinely want to learn, I always listen.

Here is a list of stuff I hear:

We dropped VBS.

We quit Awana.

We aren’t doing Sunday School anymore.

We started a family service.

I’m not the children’s pastor anymore. I am the family pastor.

We’re using a new curriculum.

This has been on my heart for years. I am so glad that finally someone is talking about family ministry.

Is there anything wrong with rethinking the way the church ministers to the family? Not at all. Since mom and dad are the primary spiritual influencers in the lives of their kids, we better take a good hard look at how we do what we do as a church. But here is my question: Why do we have to drop everything and start from scratch? Instead of reinventing every ministry in the church, can’t we look at existing ministries and leverage them to help mom and dad be the spiritual leaders they need to be?

What do you think?

MY TOP 10 LIST
by Vincent Hart

1. Devotional time builds thick skin. Doing God’s work is hard. Doing it alone never works. Telling kids about God’s love without loving God and receiving God’s love in a daily way leaves you vulnerable.

2. All adults are little kids in big people’s bodies. Think about what the motivation is behind something and you’ll be able to respond with grace that’ll restore instead of reacting to someone in unhealthy conflict. Allowing people to be people, and handling occasional childishness with grace will build bridges.

3. Champion the kids. Be their cheerleader. At staff meeting, it isn’t reasonable to expect everyone else to stick up for what’s in the kids’ best interests. That’s your job. Learn to lead up, sideways, and down in order to build a healthy and balanced church that has reasonable expectations and plenty of resources for children’s ministry.

4. Build your team. Never do ministry alone. Jesus didn’t, and neither should you. Replicate yourself in others and you’ll more than double your ministry potential to the community. Every adult you personally recruit to minister to kids doubles the number of kids you can reach.

5. Beware of the change trap. Don’t make changes. Let your team make changes that you cast the vision for. If you’re working toward a common vision, and if the team believes in it to the point that they’ll sell it to others, you won’t fall into the pit of oops-I-changed-it-without-bringing-anyone-else-along. It’s a bummer of a place to dig out of.

6. Do what you say and say what you do. When you lead, be verbose in the communication department. If you tell folks you’re going to paint the parking lot purple at 2 a.m., then you better be at the parking lot at 1:50 a.m. with a bucket of purple paint. If not, then you won’t have as many on the next painting trip and when you try to tell them what’s next, not as many will listen.

7. Cast vision constantly. This isn’t baby-sitting; it’s life change! And God rewards those who get it. If people are constantly reconnected to the purpose of ministry, then they won’t get lost in the details. Tell them over and over and over and over.

8. Invest in cards, calls, and sweat equity. Ministry is all about relationships. People need to feel God’s love. It can’t be faked or ignored. If you love on them, they come and serve.

9. Make time for people. The people are the ministry, not the things, plans, or programs. Don’t ever let the task be more important than people. If you start to hear “I’m sorry to bother you, but…” or “If you aren’t too busy…” from your folks, you’re in a trap.

10. Keep perspective. If you find yourself getting stressed, heading toward burnout, or losing your head because of “all the things you have to do,” then stop. Building the church of Jesus Christ is more about being than doing. Be only what God called you to be and then let God do the rest. It’s Christ’s church; let him build it through you as you enjoy his company.

Thanks for these great reminders Vincent!

1. Personality testing and comparisons for you, your spouse and your pastor or supervisor. Once we start you will be sent a link for you, your spouse and your supervisor to take the Path Element Profile (PEP®) personality assessment by Laurie Beth Jones. Jim will go over the results and comparisons to help you excel in your relationships. This will also help Jim understand your giftings and your uniqueness so he can more effectively coach you during your time in Infuse. (This alone is a $300 value)

2. Powerful interactive conference calls. Once every month Jim hosts a conference call with the members of Infuse. This is a special time where you can hear and receive from Jim’s heart and experience. Because these calls are interactive you’ll be able to ask questions and learn from Jim and the other members of infuse. From time to time Jim will ask some of his children’s ministry friends to join these calls and you’ll be able to learn from other trusted children’s ministry experts and veterans.

3. An intense “get-a-way” retreat at Jim’s house in Murfreesboro, (Nashville) Tennessee. During your session you’ll be invited to Jim’s home for two very full days of intense mentoring and coaching with Jim and the other leaders chosen to take part in Infuse. The dates of this event will be determined by the availability of all those taking place in Infuse and will be announced before the experience begins.

4. Unlimited mentoring by Jim and access via his personal infuse group on cmconnect.org. Each member of infuse will have access to a special online forum and discussions where they can ask questions about children’s ministry and leadership directly to Jim throughout the session. This is like having your own personal children’s ministry veteran on your team. You’ll also be able to post questions and your assignments right on the page.

5. Small group one-on-one support and encouragement. Each person taking part in infuse will be teamed with several other children’s pastors assigned by Jim for the sake of developing a close “friend and care group.” These groups are for the purpose of accountability, prayer support and creating ongoing “iron sharpening iron” relationships and growth.

6. Extra time with Jim at ministry events. While in Infuse you’ll be able to meet up with Jim at any regional seminar or ACMA event where Jim is speaking. You’ll also be able to share a meal with him for the purpose of mentoring and personal coaching. (Registration is your responcibility but Jim will make time to spend with you at the event.) Check Jim’s schedule page for a list of events

7. An optional second year will be made available for those who want to continue. Jim believes that the benefits of this type of experience will be so dynamic that the members of Infuse will not want to stop having this type of Elijah-Elisha resource at their disposal.

Five of the twenty spaces have already been filled for September. Click here for more details and to download an application.

We love flying Frontier. We are loyal customers. It isn’t the rates that hooked us – it’s the customer service. Yesterday we experienced this again on the way home. Below is the email that I just sent customer relations at Frontier.

Yesterday my wife and I were served above and beyond the call of duty by one of your captains, Arvin Deherrera. We accidentally left our daughter’s eye glasses on her stroller. We realized it after the stroller had been stowed under the plane. When arriving in Denver, we asked for the crew to look for the glasses. We were told that they were nowhere to be found. Captain Deherrera took initiative and volunteered to go outside under the plane and check for himself. He found them on the ground under a wheel and brought the glasses to us. We extended our thanks to him but wanted to let you know as well. This was above and beyond.

We have been very happy with the customer service on Frontier and plan to continue giving you first preference when looking for flights.

Be committed to going above and beyond in your leadership – even when it’s not convenient. You’ll find yourself leaving a trail of satisfied and loyal followers behind you.

James has a great blog for pastors and ministry people. I want to share his latest blog post. It answers this question: Is Your Church Compelling?

There is a deafening, non-stop discussion in evangelicalism about what the church needs to be (many of the most vocal are those who pastor no one and win very few to our Lord). On and on they pontificate about how church needs to be personally relevant and interesting and meet felt needs. About how it needs to be entertaining for people without making them uncomfortable. About how it needs to be cool and compassionate and connected and cultural and . . . Here’s a “C” word for you, CHURCH NEEDS TO BE COMPELLING.

I believe with all my heart, that much of what the church has become in our day is measly, milk-toast, and malnourished. It’s about as compelling as a ‘walk in the mall.’ I believe the New Testament church needs to be compelling. By that I mean, window-rattling, life-altering, Almighty God unveiling, COMPELLING! (I was yelling when I thought/wrote that).

Here are five things that make church compelling:

1) “Thus Saith the Lord,” Preaching
The most common observation about Jesus’ teaching was “he teaches as one who has authority.” Yet even Jesus used the Word of God for his teaching. “Did not our hearts burn within us as he walked with us on the road and taught us from the Scriptures?” (Luke 24:32). A preacher who has been gripped by the Word of God and who is overflowing with Holy Spirit conviction will make a more compelling impact and draw a bigger crowd that all the cheesy substitutes currently popular. Nothing is more compelling than people coming to church and hearing from God through the word preached. Everything else is just pathetic by comparison. “And my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God” (1 Corinthians 2:4).

To read the rest of the post click here to go to Pastor James’ blog. It will be worth your time for sure.

And while we are talking about leadership, watch this video. It’s been around for a while but it’s one of my favorites. You’ll see some leaders here – even some unexpected ones.

Once you’ve watched the video, define leadership for me in two words. Let’s see what kind of list we get.

Over the next few days, I’m going to share some leadership tips that we can all learn from watching American Idol.

Idol Lesson #1: Everyone wants to be a somebody. A high-point in the season for many viewers are the first few shows of each season when thousands of high-hoped contestants are shocked to discover they don’t have what it takes to be the next star. They line up a mile long and a mile deep to get their chance to be the next American Idol only to be told they don’t have what it takes.

Everyone wants to be a somebody. This is a basic need that everyone has. Ready for the good news? Everyone can be someone in Christ! What a prime opportunity we have to share this with people when they are little – in children’s ministry! Do your kids know that they are special? Not because of what they do, but because of who they are in Christ?

Idol Lesson #2: Everyone wants face time with the leader. Tens of thousands line up hoping to show their goods. What a lot of TV viewers don’t realize is that less than 100 are actually permitted to stand in front of Simon, Randy, Kara and the guest judge. Those 100, as well as their other thousand-plus competitors, actually begin their audition process over a week prior, auditioning before several other layers of judges. They each want face to face time with the judges – the Supreme Court of reality TV.

Your volunteers, your kids, your parents, your staff share this in common: they want face to face time with you. Are you giving it to them? Unfortunately, you don’t have the option of picking and choosing on this one. After all, pastoral work is about people. Giving your people face to face time is vital to your ministry. When is the last time you stepped into every classroom at the church to spend a few minutes talking to your leaders? Have you been getting on your knees to talk to the kids that call you their pastor?

There you go – the first two lessons from American Idol that I’ve been thinking on. I’ll post the next two in a few days. Oh, in case you are wondering, I won’t be making any connections between children’s ministry and Pants on the Ground. Don’t even ask.

Philosophy:
1. The emphasis is on learning and growing together.
2. It is characterized by family fun nights, movie nights, family camps, family services, etc.

Pros:
1. If use properly, these can really help families connect.
2. Works best with parents of children, not teens.

Cons:
1. Taken to an extreme, there would be no age-level programming.
2. Kids are establishing independence and don’t always want mom and dad around.
3. It often requires extra time outside of the regular service times.

Philosophy:
1. Each department adds family ministry components into already-planned programming.
2. Each ministry determines how to approach outreach and training for families, as long as a basic goal of family ministry is acknowledged.
3. Each age-group department, and possibly other departments as well, plans activities and programs for families independent of each other.
4. You just challenge departments to think family and everyone gets in their corner and starts offering programming for parents and families.

Pros:
1. The departmental approach is where most churches land.
2. It is usually the cheapest.
3. Because so many people are involved, it breed creativity.

Cons:
1. Creates silos – where each ministry does what it does without regard to a step-by-step process toward an end objective.
2. Calendars quickly get clogged with multiple programs for the family and members of the family will be pulled in numerous directions by different departments.
3. Dollars disappear into divergent programs that divide the family instead of bringing it together.
4. Programming is usually characterized as being random and haphazard instead of strategic and intentional.

Philosophy:
1. A new staff position (usually called a “family minister”) is added.
2. This family minister works independently of other ministries.
3. The family minister does programming for families and parents, while the student ministry focuses on students and the children’s ministry focuses on children.

Pros:
1. It is the easiest if you have margin to plan programs for the family or if the church has money to throw into a staff position.
2. It’s what most churches are doing in an attempt to start doing family ministry.

Cons:
1. The overriding disadvantage is that these programs can create competing systems and your children and student staff will continue to function independently.
2. Those who have the direct connection with children never really take ownership of a strategy for their parents.
3. Kind of connected but not integral to planning and strategy.