Every time I go to a children’s ministry conference, there are always people who want to tell about the new family ministry at their church. Because I’m supportive and I genuinely want to learn, I always listen.

Here is a list of stuff I hear:

We dropped VBS.

We quit Awana.

We aren’t doing Sunday School anymore.

We started a family service.

I’m not the children’s pastor anymore. I am the family pastor.

We’re using a new curriculum.

This has been on my heart for years. I am so glad that finally someone is talking about family ministry.

Is there anything wrong with rethinking the way the church ministers to the family? Not at all. Since mom and dad are the primary spiritual influencers in the lives of their kids, we better take a good hard look at how we do what we do as a church. But here is my question: Why do we have to drop everything and start from scratch? Instead of reinventing every ministry in the church, can’t we look at existing ministries and leverage them to help mom and dad be the spiritual leaders they need to be?

What do you think?

The Barna Reseach Group has helped the church understand the spiritual condition of today’s kids. I won’t repeat all of his findings but you should read Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions (Regal). Raising a Modern-Day Joseph affirms this research.

The bottom line is this: it’s not a good picture. Kids are growing up in the church and heading for college with a low commitment to the church, an unbiblical worldview, and decreasing Bible knowledge. At the same time that the spiritual condition of children is declining, involvement in extracurricular activities like sports, piano, and dance is increasing. More and more parents are choosing these activities over other children’s ministries in the church.

There are clear benefits to children being involved in sports and other similar activities. Better health and self-esteem are two such benefits. However, I see an increasing number of parents in the church choose these activities over programs like Awana, Pioneer Clubs, Missionettes, Royal Rangers, or even worship services.

At my church we have Awana. It provides what kids need so desperately—a biblical foundation upon which to build the rest of their lives. It is also one of the best tools we offer parents who want to grow spiritual champions.

I recently wrote a blog post called “What Bugs Me About Little League.” I said it bugs me that so many parents in my church idolize Little League and let it trump Awana night. When faced with the choice of baseball practice or Awana, baseball practice wins. Within hours I was bombarded with comments from children’s pastors that both understood my concern and respectfully disagreed.

Most of those who disagreed took the position that engaging in the community is just as important as involvement in the programs of the church. Carmen Fleck from Bachelor Creek Friends Church said, “The Bible says we are to be salt and light to our communities … sports is a great way to do that. I think sometimes we Christians become ‘too Christian’ and remove ourselves from the community, thus never becoming salt and light.”

Jonathon Cliff from Trinity Church said, “You are assuming that ‘church’ provides the only form of spiritual formation in a child’s life. I’m a children’s pastor, and have struggled for years with the twinge of bitterness when families choose other activities over the ones I’ve planned, and prayerfully organized for their own children, but sometimes spending time together as a family, enjoying sports, can be more beneficial to the life of a family than anything I could ever plan at church.”

Here is my concern. Most Christian parents agree that they want their children to be spiritual champions as adults. However, they lack the strategy to hit those results. Part of the plan must include a commitment to God, His Word, and programs of the church intended to help parents grow godly kids. When anything and everything trumps the plan, the plan is destined to fail. Any strategic planner would tell you that a plan is only as good as one’s commitment to executing it.

Conclusion

It is indeed an exciting day in children’s ministry. The last five years have brought so many changes to the face of children’s ministry. The next five years will be equally as exciting. Children’s ministry leaders must keep their ear on the rail and commit to keeping a keen eye on new trends. Upon discovering them, each must ask, “What impact does this have where I live?” You don’t have to (nor should you) embrace each, but you are wise for keeping them on your radar and embracing the ones that will make you and your ministry stronger.

Eleven years ago when I was hired to be the children’s pastor at my church, I was expected to oversee the ministries of the church for birth through sixth grade. A big part of my job was recruiting and training volunteers, teaching children’s church, and overseeing programs like Sunday School and Awana. Today, that job description has changed, and not just for me but thousands of others. It’s changing because the traditional model of children’s ministry is changing.

Children’s pastors are now expected to formulate a plan for helping parents. In the hiring process, children’s pastors had better be prepared to answer the question, “What are you going to do to help the parents of our church grow great kids?”

This change is for the good. We are waking up to the fact that the children’s/youth pastor is not the main spiritual influencer of a child—it’s mom and dad. This means that the children’s pastor must put tools in the hands of parents and help them take the lead. The model of ministry is changing from doing ministry for parents to doing ministry with parents.

I recommend that you read Larry Fowler’s book, Raising a Modern-Day Joseph (David C. Cook). Larry is the executive director of global training for Awana. In this book, he compels the church to rethink the way it does children’s ministry. Larry recognizes this change in what ministry to kids looks like and encourages the church to formulate a plan that includes the senior pastor, the youth pastor, the children’s pastor, and parents.

As a result of this model change, we are seeing more and more experiential ministry events. The idea is that the family should learn and grow together, which is often characterized by family fun nights, movie nights, family camps, and family services. If used properly, these can really help families connect and grow closer together. However, taken to an extreme, there would be no age-level programming. It is also difficult to find extra time outside of the regular service times for these venues.

Sunday night at church we honored 14 Sparks with Awana awards. You should have seen the glow on each of these kids faces. They were grinning ear to ear as they were publicly recognized for their hard work in Awana. Kids love awards.

Yesterday in staff meeting my pastor was talking about how proud those kids were to be recognized and how excited they were to receive their awards. He asked a good question, “Why do kids have to go to the world to get their awards?” which led to some good discussion points.

Kids love awards. Heck, we all do. I love getting a raise every January. I love the bonus points that I accumulate on my credit card. I love it that after I buy six coffees I get the seventh free at the gas station in town. Back to kids – it’s too bad that, more often then not, to get an award, they have to play sports or be musical. I wonder if we are missing something here.

Kids love motivation and rewards just like the rest of us. I wonder if church leaders and parents would be smart to start recognizing kids more for spiritual milestones and growth. It might raise the spiritual temperature of your ministry – that’s what I’m thinking at least.

Children’s ministry is alive and thriving in the church today. It’s an exciting time to be involved in ministry to kids. To be your best, you need to keep up with the current trends in ministry. What follows is a report on the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m not asking you to agree with every point but just hear the way I see it. Ready?

Trend #1: Children’s pastors are doing more with less

On March 3, 2009, Roger Fields, President of KidzBlitz, took a poll and asked the question, “Is the current economic situation impacting your children’s ministry?” Hundreds of churches responded. The results showed:

Not at all (17%)
Slightly (30%)
Somewhat (39%)
Massively (14%)

The analysis is this: over half of the churches we polled are being impacted significantly by the economy! Consequently, children’s ministry leaders are working with less.

Kimber Scott, Children’s Ministry Director at Mountainside Church of Christ, said, “I had to lower my budget for 2009 by $8,000! We’ve started so many new programs that involve prize-giving. So I went to Goodwill and other thrift stores and bought prizes for 10, 25 and 50 cents each. They’re new toys!”

Tonya Pinkerton, Children’s Pastor at Farmland Friends Church said, “Our church just built three new rooms for the kids … A couple weeks ago we had our big grand opening, but nothing on the walls. After seeing the large posters of kids at the GAP store in the mall, our pastor got creative and asked the store employees for the posters they were going to throw away. GAP not only gave us the posters, they gave us all kinds of neat pictures of kids and a container to hold them! We put them up all over our children’s ministry rooms and halls!”

Ten minutes before lesson time with the first batch of kids, I asked, “Is the missionary here?” and I got blank stares and a few shrugs. The Awana Commander said, “Not yet, he’s running late,” and she gave me the look. You know, the look that screamed, “I need super-children’s-pastor!” I put it in high gear knowing I had to put something together fast. I sprinted out the door over to the office building. It had been a few years since I’ve used the Cross Trick and there was a brand new one in my office. Running back to the church, Nicodemus entered my mind. Where did he come from? I don’t know. So I had the cross trick, the story of Nicodemus, now I needed a few visuals. Before sprinting upstairs, I whipped into the church nursery where I grabbed a baby doll, diaper, and bottle. I now had my opening to get the kids thinking about being a baby again. As I started upstairs, the thought hit me, “What if I need to stretch the clock?” This meant running down two flights of stairs to the resource room where I grabbed a bucket of candy for a last minute game.

I finally made it back to the third floor and with three minutes on the clock started setting up the Cross Trick and all my props. I was set up with a few seconds left to do a rapid review of John 3. The kids were about to walk it the room and guess what? The missionary showed up. I have to admit, I love missionaries but it took an extra dose of grace last night. It would have helped had he apologized or shown any remorse for the pain he had put me through, but I showed grace and welcomed him to my children’s ministry anyway with somewhat loving arms.

The end of the story? I packed up my stuff, hit the resource room and got a stroke of genius. I found a nice little tub that wasn’t being used and filled it with the cross trick supplies, the baby visuals, some cool little trinkets for prizes, and a Gideon New Testament. I scratched down some of my notes on an index card and placed it in the Bible. Now I have a ready-to-go lesson the next time “I’m the guy” with 10 minutes to prepare.

And no, this is not me in the picture.

This week on Tuesday Talk:
Larry Fowler answers the question, “How can a ministry help parents raise modern-day Josephs?”

Wow–there could be so many responses, so let me mention three that I think are key:
1. Don’t let them off the hook.  In other words, never stop talking about the fact that, Biblically speaking, parents are first responsible for spiritual training.  Keep reminding them in every communication that you do, but of course in a loving, encouraging way.

2. Work on motivating parents.  We do a pretty good job of making parents feel guilty, but what do we do to help them to want to raise their kids spiritually?  Use both extrinsic and intrinsic–recognize, reward, celebrate, personally commend, challenge, and whatever else might motivate.  I believe this is the missing piece; the Biblical pattern is clear, and there are certainly enough tools available.  So why don’t parents use them?  They’re not motivated.

3. Give them a target.  Parents are so motivated when they have a target; just let them hear that their soccer player could star on a club team with more practice, and watch them respond.  That’s why I talk about a modern-day Joseph so much: because the Old Testament Joseph story so beautifully portrays what we would like our kids to turn out to be once they leave home.  Then, add intermediate targets–what children should know and become at two- to four-year intervals throughout their growing up years.  Celebrate with and honor the parents who work with their children to reach those targets.

Larry Fowler serves as executive director of global training for Awana, an international organization committed to helping churches and parents raise children and youth to know, love and serve Jesus Christ. He is an author of two books and a speaker to audiences worldwide both inside and outside of Awana. Larry and his wife, Diane, have two grown children and seven grandchildren. The Fowlers reside in suburban Chicago.