The Benefit of Being Kind

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Here’s what I find in working with pastors and leaders. And that is, your greatest challenges always stem from communication skills. They always stem from relational issues. One of the greatest things you can learn to do as a pastor, or really in any area of life whether you’re a pastor, whether you own a business-owner, whether you’re a school teacher, whether you’re a student. One of the greatest skills you can develop is learning to get people on your side.

Dale Carnegie talks about this as one of his five essential people skills, and that is you have to move people over to your team. You’ve  got to move people and get them over to your side. Now how do you do that? There are so many right ways to do that, and there are so many wrong ways to do that. 

One of the best ways to get people on your team is to just win them over with kindness. I think a lot of times we overthink it and we think that we’ve got to come up with these strategies, or these techniques, or these plans, or these systems. And listen, I’m all for systems, and strategies, and techniques. But on a very simplistic level, you will be amazed at what will happen when you just start being nice to people. When you’re just kind to people. When you buy somebody a cup of coffee. When you text them for no other reason than to tell them you are thinking about them or you are thankful for them. When you send them a thank you card. When you send them an email. When you pop in their office just to say hello. When you do a random word of prayer. When you have their kids over and you babysit for free. There are a million things that you can do for free, that cost you nothing, but end up going a long, long way with people.

So as you think about your work flow, as you think about your work day, whether you’ve got a six hour work day, an eight hour work day, or a ten hour work day. How much time am I spending trying to get people to my team simply by being nice? By doing random acts of kindness? By adding value to another person’s life, expecting nothing in return? The magical thing is, you DO get a return. There is a great return that comes on the investment of being kind. Of being nice. Of going out of your way to help somebody.

So here’s a frog you all can eat, okay? When I talk about eating the frog, I’m talking about a Mark Twain quote. He said if you eat a live frog first thing every day, nothing worse is going to happen to you the rest of the day. That’s got to be true if you stop and think about it. If I eat a live frog in the morning, what worse could happen the rest of the day? So here’s the live frog I want you to eat today. Look at your calendar. I can help you determine your priorities based upon looking at your calendar. Show me where you spend your time and I’ll show you the values of your life. How much time am I spending just being kind? How much time am I spending just asking good questions? How much time am I spending really being interested in what’s going on in someone else’s life? With their kids. At their job. When I do that, listen, I’ll be amazed at how many people come over to my side.

Your #1 fan,


Ryan Frank